Self-acceptance is an acceptance of all of one’s characteristics and attributes, both positive and negative.

Self-acceptance is similar to self-esteem, which is a confidence in one’s own abilities. However, self-acceptance goes deeper, and is a more holistic understanding of one’s self as both capable and skilled, as well as flawed and fallible. Self-acceptance is recognition that you have worth, just as you are – regardless of past acts or future potential. Just being is enough.

Self-acceptance isn’t the same as complacency or self-satisfaction, though. Often, it’s only by first understanding and accepting one’s flaws that a person can begin to change. Self-acceptance doesn’t preclude a desire to learn, achieve, or grow, but at the same time it doesn’t require change or growth.

Self-acceptance is not a way station on the path to future achievement. To think of it that way is still to depend on a contingent sense of worth. With true self-acceptance, today, now, who you are, is all you need.

Self-acceptance can be developed in childhood by parents who affirm the intrinsic worth of a child, regardless of their behavior (good or bad). When this sort of affirmation is withheld in childhood, people grow up feeling that their self-worth is contingent on external markers: being smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, having the right car, the right job, the biggest boat.

Or, they internalize the idea that they will never be good enough, a conclusion that can lead to self-destructive behavior.

Once people achieve a state of self-acceptance — a journey that can take a lifetime — they are free to truly be themselves, whoever that is.

The Benefits of Self-Acceptance

Working toward accepting yourself might be the greatest gift you ever give yourself. Self-acceptance can help you manage your moods, reduce symptoms of depression, and increase positive emotions. It can help you stop self-destructive behaviors and learn to be fulfilled. In short, self-acceptance can make you happy.

Link for more information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3933359/

The benefits of self-acceptance include increased greater self-worth and self-esteem. People with more self-acceptance feel more freedom and autonomy. They are more likely to live for themselves and not worry about others’ approval.

Accepting yourself fully, as a complete person with strengths and weaknesses, helps to calm the voice of self-criticism. It also helps to tame the fear of failure. After all, if you accept yourself, it’s easier to accept that failure is simply a step on the path to achievement.

With less self-criticism and less fear of failure, it’s easier for self-accepting people to take risks. When mistakes do happen, self-accepting people are more likely to treat themselves with compassion and kindness.

For those people who don’t accept themselves, the journey toward self-acceptance can be long. It’s difficult to take a clear, unflinching look at one’s strengths and weaknesses, and learn to be at peace with them, rather that fighting with one quality or another.

However, just imagine the freedom and energy you would feel if you could quieten your negative voices, and didn’t fear failure or the consequences of taking risks.

The closer you get to self-acceptance, the more benefits accrue. It may be a long road, but the journey toward self-acceptance is the most important journey you will ever take.

The Steps to Self-Acceptance

In the first Star Wars trilogy, young Luke Skywalker transformed from an awkward young farmhand into the greatest Jedi by confronting his fears and acknowledging his own dark side. His journey, what Joseph Campbell called the Hero’s Journey, was really an exploration of his own self.

Without a willingness to confront his own weaknesses and failings, Luke could not emerge to bring balance to the force by helping his father begin the same journey.

Link for more information – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F7Wwew8X4Y

Here is how to walk your own path toward self-acceptance.

1 – Start with Self-Awareness

You can’t accept what you don’t understand. A key element of learning to accept yourself is first to understand yourself. Becoming self-aware will help you identify your true motivations and desires. It will help you better read other people’s and will help you respond in thoughtful and appropriate ways.

For example, imagine that at work one of your direct reports reminds you of your sister, who you have a terrible relationship with. You might find that the employee seems to “push your buttons” when actually you are simply projecting your feelings about your sister on her.

By becoming more aware of your own reactions, you can set your knee-jerk response aside, and treat your employee appropriately, as herself.

Becoming self-aware is a challenge that can take a lifetime. Here are some steps that can help:

Work with a Professional

If you are serious about learning more about yourself, your history, your motivations and emotions, consider working with a counselor or therapist. A trained professional can help guide and support you in becoming more self-aware.

Quantify yourself

Do you love taking quizzes on where the sorting hat would place you at Hogwarts? Consider working through a series of questionnaires to help you think through various aspects of yourself.

While they might not be as fun as the quizzes on your favorite website, the Authentic Happiness Project at the University of Pennsylvania has a full battery of quizzes that help you understand your values, motivation, and level of happiness. The quizzes are free, but registration is required:
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter

Understand Your Life Story

Everyone’s life story has two aspects. There are the objective facts, things that could be verified by a researcher. Then, there’s the interpretation that you place on those facts. Psychologists call this “narrative identity”. How you understand your narrative shapes your current actions and your future goals.

Research shows that people who tell life stories that feature personal agency and exploration, and who find redemptive meaning in suffering and hardship, tend to be healthier and happier. Write down some stories from your life.

Think about how you frame your stories. Is there another way to look at what happened? Can you focus on the good, instead of the bad? Explore different ways of telling your own story and see how your feelings change when you shift the narrative.

Link for more information – https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721413475622

Seek Feedback

It can be hard to see ourselves fully, for good and for ill. If you have a trusted friend, family member, or colleague, ask for feedback. What do they see as your strengths and weaknesses? Try not to react to their feedback; rather, simply sit with it. How does their impression of you differ from your own? Were you surprised by anything? Flattered? Ashamed? Your reaction to the feedback can tell you a lot.

2 – Getting Rid of Negativity

A key element of self-acceptance is getting rid of negativity. To fully accept yourself, you need to become aware of and acknowledge your flaws, weaknesses, mistakes, and failures — and then you must accept them. They are part of you, part of the messy, complicated, whole human being that you are.

Negative Thought Patterns

Accepting your flaws doesn’t mean you have to like them, but you do have to be ok with the reality of their existence. This requires getting rid of negativity toward yourself. This includes:

• Comparing yourself to others – A little competition can be healthy, but obsessively comparing yourself to others isn’t healthy. There will always be someone smarter, stronger, prettier, richer, or whatever quality you are concerned with. At the same time, you’ll always find someone to look down on if you go looking — but do you really want to?
• Criticizing yourself – Imagine this: Your child’s teacher hands them back an essay marked with an “F” and says, “You are so stupid, you don’t deserve to be in this class!” What would you do? If your answer is, report the teacher’s behavior immediately and demand they be reprimanded, you are correct. Now, if you wouldn’t let your child’s teacher speak that way to them, why would you let the voice in your head say the same things to you? Fire that critical voice.
• Allowing your negative qualities to overshadow your strengths – While true self-acceptance requires knowing one’s own strengths and weaknesses, too often we focus on the weaknesses and ignore the strengths. Allow yourself to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements.
• Focusing on the past, rather than present and future – All too often, we spend our time focused on the past. This blinds us to the realities of today and the possibilities of tomorrow. Even if your current situation is not what you want it to be, the mental energy you spend reliving the mistakes of the past could be put to better use building the future you want. Learn from the past but don’t live in it.

How to Shut Down Those Negative Thought Patterns

The list of negative thought patterns can go on and on. The key is, how do you shut down those negative patterns? Here are some tips:

• Set an intention – Consciously choosing to focus on the positive, rather than the negative, can help you reframe your thinking. Many people find that a physical object such as a crystal, rock, or small piece of jewelry serves as a useful reminder of their intentions. Hold the object, think of what you want to achieve, and then keep the object close so that seeing it will remind you of your intention.
• Critique your thoughts – When your mind gets stuck in a negative grove, take a moment to analyze your thought patterns. Ask yourself three questions: 1. Is this thought true? 2. Is it important? 3. Is this thought helpful? You’ll quickly see that most of your negative thoughts are none of these.
• Come up with one positive for every negative – Remember that TV trope where a character argues with a devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel sitting on the other? If you suffer from negative self-talk, that’s the little devil speaking. Counteract that voice with a positive one. If you are angry at yourself for failing a test, remember an assignment you did well on. If you are anxious about presenting at work, remember how your idea will benefit your company.
• Meditate – Mindfulness meditation can relieve stress, calm anxiety, help protect against a relapse of depression, help manage pain, and even help build grey matter in your brain. Mindfulness promotes greater self-awareness, and helps you develop healthier emotional responses to negative events.

More on Mindfulness Meditation

To begin mindfulness meditation, simply sit quietly and focus on your breath. As you sit, thoughts will bubble up. You’ll notice that your leg itches to remember that bill you forgot to pay. That’s normal. The goal is not, as many people think, to turn off the flow of thoughts.

The goal is to practice placing your attention where you choose it to be, and letting everything else go, like flotsam floating past on a river.

Thoughts will come and go but keep your attention on your breath. Over time, you’ll get better and better at calming your mind, and choosing where to focus.

Links for more information:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-surprising-health-benefits-of-mindfulness-meditation/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22148989

3 – Encouraging Positive Self-Talk

Once you have identified negative thought patterns and are working to combat them, the next step is to actively embrace positive self-talk.

Positive self-talk and positive thinking are not ways to deny reality or a way of pretending everything is ok when it’s not. In fact, studies show that optimists are more effective at dealing with problems than pessimists. Optimists tend to face problems head on, seeking to reduce, manage or eliminate the source of stress. When that’s not possible, optimists tend to focus on managing their emotions. They face negative situations with acceptance, humor and a reframing of the situation.

Link for more information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894461/

Psychologist Barbara L. Fredrickson has proposed that the benefits of positive thinking and emotion can ripple out through our lives, like waves from a pebble thrown into a pond. She has named this the “broaden-and-build theory of positive emotion”.

This theory is built on her research showing that experiencing positive emotions such as joy, interest, contentment and love can change first our thinking and then our behavior in significant ways that lead to positive results long down the road.

For example, a happy child who is encouraged to run, play, and climb trees is building physical skills that may translate into an athletic scholarship to an Ivy League school long down the road.

Link for more information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1693418/pdf/15347528.pdf

So, how do you move from combating negative thought patterns to actively encouraging positivity and happiness? Setting yourself up for an “upward spiral” can improve your life, and actually rewire your brain to help guard against negative emotional states.

Link for more information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2908186/

Here’s how to do it:

Practice Loving-kindness Meditation

In a recent study, people who learned loving-kindness meditation reported more positive interactions in their daily lives, which helped them build more personal resources (increased social support, mindfulness, less physical illness). These resources helped increase life satisfaction and decrease depression.

Link for more information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3156028/

The goal of loving kindness meditation is to focus positive, kind, loving energy toward yourself and others. Here’s an explanation of how to do it from Verywell Mind:

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-practice-loving-kindness-meditation-3144786

Write Positively

In a study, students who wrote about positive experiences each day for three days showed improved mood, and actually boosted their health. Over the next three months, they had fewer visits to the doctor than the control group.

Link for more information – https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656603000588

Every day, or at least a few times a week, take a few minutes to write about something positive in your life. Need ideas? Reflect on things you are grateful for, things that make you smile, or your happiest memories.

Play

When was the last time you did something silly, unstructured, and creative? Whether it’s a pick-up basketball game, grabbing your paint brushes and making a glorious mess of a canvas, or simply losing yourself in the woods for a while, schedule regular time to do something that gives you joy.

You may feel like you don’t have time, but just like your body wilts if you don’t eat, your spirit wilts too if it isn’t fed regularly.

Whatever it is that gives you joy, make time for it in your calendar, and those positive emotions will offer a tremendous return on investment.

Flip Your Timelines

Too often, we put off happiness into the future: “I’ll be happy when I do X.” However, research shows that accomplishment tends to follow from happiness, not the other way around. The next time you think, “I’ll be happy when…”, stop yourself.

Find something that makes you happy now, and come back to your task with renewed energy, creativity, and drive.

4 – Forgiving Yourself

One of the most difficult parts of the journey toward self-acceptance is coming to terms with one’s flaws, mistakes, and regrets. Yet, coming to terms with things you’ve done and learning to forgive and let go of the weight of past mistakes, is a crucial step in reaching self-acceptance.

If you need to forgive yourself for something, here are some steps to try. As always, if you are experiencing extreme distress, reach out to a professional who can help guide you through this process.

Recognize the Lesson Your Guilt is Trying to Teach

The negative sensations we feel when we make a mistake or do something wrong are there for a reason. They are trying to teach you not to do the same thing again.

In fact, scientists can detect the physiological response that guilt causes in children using infrared imaging. Internalizing — literally — the sensation of guilt is an important step in the development of a moral compass.

Link for more information – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3834185/

If you haven’t learned what your guilt is trying to teach you, it won’t let go. Accept and acknowledge what you did. Apologize and make amends where you can. Consider how you can do better the next time.

It takes courage to own your actions (and it may take time) but doing so lessens the feelings of guilt and shame we may be carrying around.

Extend Compassion Toward Yourself

If you have accepted responsibility for your actions and still can’t forgive yourself, it’s time to allow yourself some compassion. Imagine that someone you love made the same mistake and was continuing to suffer for it.

Imagine what you might say to comfort them. How would you encourage them to move forward? Now, extend that same kindness and compassion toward yourself. Treat yourself as you would a loved one.

Engage with Your Spirituality

Most religions have formal rituals of repentance and forgiveness. If you are religious, speaking with a leader of your faith can help you through this journey. If you aren’t religious, secular rituals can serve a similar purpose.

For example, at the Burning Man festival, a temple is built, and burned, every year. People leave messages at the temple, to be burnt in the fire.

In Santa Fe, New Mexico, the annual burning of Zozobra, the “Gloomy Man,” allows the citizens to release their gloom by leaving notes in the “Gloom Box,” which is burnt along with Zozobra. You can construct a ritual of your own to help you confront, and release yourself from, your past actions.

Practice Acceptance

Things that lie in your past do not have to define your future. By accepting your past, you can release its emotional hold, and move into the future with new energy. If acceptance is coming slowly, practice imagining what true acceptance might feel like.

How would it feel to be at peace with the past? To let go of struggling with your negative emotions? Imagining that state can help manifest it. The more you practice acceptance, the more it will be your reality.

Accepting Shortcomings and Setbacks

When you accept yourself, you accept your shortcomings, and accept that setbacks happen. However, the road to self-acceptance is a long one, and setbacks can knock you off the path.

When you are confronted with a setback, or make a mistake, or uncover a deficiency, self-acceptance gives you the tools to cope. All the steps to achieving self-acceptance laid out in this report become more important when bad things happen.

When you are under stress, set aside time to practice gratitude. Take a few minutes for a daily meditation. Rewrite your inner monologue in positive terms. All these steps will help you cope more effectively through your setback, and help you continue down the road toward self-acceptance.

A hormone imbalance happens when your body produces too much or too few hormones needed for optimal health. When that happens, this health issue can cause disruption physically as well as emotionally.

There are numerous things that can lead to a hormone balance – including seasons of life change such as menopause as well as certain medications or a lack of important nutrients in your diet.

Hormone Issues Resemble Other Ailments and are Often Missed

The problem with hormone issues is that they can be difficult to diagnose. Some women report that years go by before they get a proper diagnosis. The reason for this is because a hormone problem can mimic other conditions.

Because a hormone imbalance can have several symptoms, doctors sometimes fail to look at all of the symptoms as a whole and instead focus on each individual symptom.

That’s why it’s up to you to make sure that you’re tracking what’s going on with your own body.

You can start by keeping a detailed record of all your symptoms – even if you think it’s completely unrelated. You should track your monthly menstrual cycle by recording the date that it starts and the date that it ends.

When tracking this, it’s important that you indicate whether your flow was normal or not.

Doing this can help a doctor pinpoint if there’s a problem with your estrogen, since an imbalance in this hormone can lead to heavier flow even if you’ve always had normal menstrual cycles.

Keep records concerning your moods as well. While the emotional aspect might not seem that important, it can offer clues. Women who experience hormone imbalance can suddenly have trouble with mood swings.

This is often one of the first clues a woman recognizes – especially if she’s someone who has an upbeat personality and she suddenly finds that she’s feeling down a lot.

This can signify that a hormone imbalance is affecting her moods.

Sometimes, the symptoms of a hormone imbalance makes one physical issue more prominent than others. You can experience dry skin, fatigue, weight gain or frequent urination as part of a long list of symptoms associated with a hormone imbalance.

If you go to the doctor for frequent urination without all of the other symptoms, the first thing he’d check would be fore for an infection or for diabetes. Many women with a hormone imbalance will notice that their hair begins to thin.

If you go to the doctor and you’re older, many of them will often dismiss the thinning hair as being a sign of aging or a lack of vitamins. But if you have a detailed record where you’ve recorded thinning hair along with mood swings and other issues, it gives your doctor a better overview of what’s going on with your body.

When it comes to hormones, you have to be proactive and pay attention to even the smallest change going on with your body physically or emotionally. Because if you catch a hormone imbalance quickly, you can stop it from getting worse and causing you to suffer.

It’s important that you know how to be your greatest health advocate and the more you know about your health as well as the effects of a hormone imbalance, the quicker you can get back on the road to feeling better.

Getting Tested for Vital Hormone Levels

If it’s suspected that you might have a hormonal imbalance, this can sometimes be tested using bloodwork – because your hormone level can be identified in your blood. However, more often than not, you could need more than blood tests.

Your doctor may order more testing because there can be reasons behind the imbalance that need further evaluation. Some of these reasons include thyroid malfunction, adrenal fatigue, or pituitary gland problems.

When you get tested for a hormonal imbalance, it’s important that you have an accurate and up to date list of anything you’re taking – including natural supplements – because the ingredients in medications, supplements and vitamins can affect your hormone levels.

When blood is drawn, the doctor is looking for hormone levels within your thyroid, your adrenals, pituitary and he’s also looking specifically for your estrogen level as well as what your cortisol level might be.

The reason for this is because cortisol, which is the stress hormone, can cause you to have little energy and can mimic the same symptoms as menopause. The bloodwork could include an FSH test, which checks for how much follicle stimulating hormone you have.

This is an important hormone related to reproductive health and if it’s out of balance, it can cause heart palpitations, night sweats and mimic the symptoms of menopause.

If the bloodwork comes back with the hormone levels between the lab mandated range, but on the low end, the doctor may go ahead and order more testing such as imaging for the pituitary gland, thyroid, adrenal glands or abdomen so he can check your ovaries.

If the tests show that you’re too low or two high in some hormones, you may need to take medication to restore the balance. Instead of bloodwork, some doctors may prefer to have a patient undergo a saliva test.

To perform this test, the patient spits saliva into the provided container and it’s then sent to the lab for testing. The doctor might instruct you to spit at certain points during the day so that there’s an accurate measure of what your hormone level should be.

Your body is supposed to have higher levels of certain hormones in the morning than during other times of the day. If your level is low, then the doctor will be able to better determine what’s going on with your imbalance.

What he’s looking for with a saliva test is whether or not your estrogen and progesterone levels are within normal range. He’s also checking for your cortisol and the hormone DHEA. Abnormal levels of DHEA can lead to mood swings and cause a disruption in menstrual cycles.

Interpreting Your Results and Demanding an Action Plan for Relief

You can take a DIY test to check your levels yourself if you suspect that you may be experiencing a hormonal imbalance. This at home testing can alert you as to whether or not certain key hormones aren’t in the range that they should be.

There are various at home testing kits that you can order, and many of them are pretty inexpensive. After you buy one and receive it, you follow the instructions. The instructions will differ between the tests, but it’s important that you follow these carefully.

For example, some of the tests will have you giving a sample at a specific time. If you miss that window of time, you won’t get an accurate reading of certain hormone levels.

So if you have a test that you have to do throughout the day, it’s important to set alarms so that you don’t miss the time.

Any of the DIY testing kits you choose will have instructions on how and when to give your samples and if you’re testing some female hormones, this will be done between three and four times a day.

Since these are saliva samples, it’s easy to perform the test. You simply spit into whatever containers have been provided. These are usually labeled for the coordinating times already or you may have to write it on the vial’s label yourself.

When you’re done, you mail them back and wait for the results. You’ll receive these results back and be alerted to any levels that are low or high. There should be an explanation sheet for what the low and high level ranges are.

For example, if your test results show that one of your hormone levels is 1.3, that might not look too bad. But when you check the lab rage for that hormone and see that the low end cut off is 3.0, then you know that yours is too low.

Abnormal lab results in DIY kits are usually flagged with an H or an L for high or low – or they’ll have an asterisk beside them followed by an explanation at the bottom of the result page.

Any abnormal reading should be addressed, because a hormone imbalance can not only make you feel bad, but certain levels that are too low can lead to serious health consequences.

Some doctors may brush off hormones being out of balance as the patient just getting older. He might even suggest that it’s normal for hormones to get unbalanced as you get older.

But it is not normal. If your doctor brushes you off, you need to show him the records you’ve kept concerning all of your symptoms that could be hormone related followed by the DIY test results. Insist that he do more testing if needed or refer you to an endocrinologist, since these doctors specialize in endocrine health, including hormone imbalances.

Topical, Oral and Pellet Therapy Options

Hormone therapy is what occurs when it’s discovered that you have an imbalance that can benefit from or requires treatment. This kind of therapy can be a single hormone replacement or it can be a combination of hormones used to bring relief to those suffering from symptoms.

Topical therapy options are hormones that are put directly onto the skin to be absorbed and then carried through the body in the bloodstream. This topical therapy is good for helping to quickly replace the hormones that your body doesn’t have enough of.

The way that this therapy is used is found in an ointment that you apply often, as a gel or as a longer lasting patch that then secretes the hormone throughout the day. If you’re using a gel or an ointment, you do have to apply it throughout the day to mimic the hormone and keep the levels consistent throughout the day.

The effectiveness of the topical therapy depends on different factors. Not every patient will absorb the topical solution at the same time. So you may not get as much benefit as another person using the exact same topical solution.

Or you could end up getting it into your bloodstream faster than you should. When you use topical treatment therapies, there may be a lag time where, after you apply it, you have to be careful what you do to keep the hormone treatment from accidentally getting rubbed off.

The level of success with this method all depends on how your body reacts to the therapy. So it may be a bit of a trial and error period to find the topical treatment that works best for you.

Oral therapy is a treatment method that many women use to treat hormone imbalance. If you need estrogen or progesterone, you can take a pill for that. If your hormone imbalance is found to be caused by your thyroid, adrenals or pituitary gland, there are oral therapies to treat that as well.

This is usually performed by taking a pill once a day. The difference between this therapy and topical is that once you take it, you can go about your day. You don’t have to wait for cream to be absorbed into your skin.

Plus, you get a consistent dosage every time while the topical dosing can be affected by skin penetration rate as well as inconsistences in the amount applied. Pellet therapy is treatment involving bioidentical hormones that are placed directly beneath your skin.

The difference in this treatment and topical is that the amount of hormones you receive never varies. The pellets are implanted about twice a year. Most women like this treatment because once it’s implanted, they don’t have to worry about taking something every day.

And unlike topical therapy, which can vary depending on what you’re doing, since you can sweat that off during vigorous activities, the pellet reacts to your day to day activities. Just like a natural hormone, the pellet will release more hormones as your body has the need.

Bioidentical Versus Synthetic Hormones

There has long been a debate about the differences between bioidentical hormones versus the synthetic ones. Both of these have benefits as well as risks. Bioidentical hormones have the same structure as the hormones in your body.

This makes them the same hormonal makeup according to the chemical compound naturally produced even though they’re man-made. They’re an exact match to your body.

A synthetic hormone doesn’t have the same natural structure found in the body’s hormones. This means that the molecular creation of synthetic hormones will vary and they will never be an exact match.

The same bioidentical hormones can be found to replacem thyroid, estrogen, progesterone or adrenal glands function. Bioidentical hormones can be one hormone replacement, or they can be a created mixture of two natural hormones to produce the same effect natural hormones have on the body.

This joining of two or more hormones is known as compounding. Synthetic hormones are not used the same even if two people are prescribed the same pill and the same dosage.

That’s because the man made hormone isn’t the same structurally from manufacturer to manufacturer. Both types of replacement therapies can carry the risk of side effects. Bioidentical hormones don’t have to have FDA approval.

Synthetic hormones do. Both can improve hormone function. Bioidentical hormones are specific and prescribed based on what the patient must have to bring their hormone levels into a proper range.

Synthetic hormones are prescribed based on what’s offered by the manufacturer in milligrams and can’t be customized exactly to the individual need. The benefits that are associated with bioidentical hormone therapy are numerous.

The treatment can restore hormone levels. It can also promote bone health. The therapy is known to eliminate fatigue, which helps a patient feel better as well as helps her resume her normal activities.

The therapy can eliminate insomnia and allow patients to sleep well. It gets rid of the side effects associated with conditions like menopause such as hot flashes and night sweats.

It’s also known to restore lost sex drive. On the downside, bioidentical therapy can cause the risk of blood clots, stroke and gallbladder disease. Synthetic hormone replacement can eliminate fatigue, hot flashes and hair thinning.

It can also help with dry skin, bloating, insomnia and cognitive function. This therapy also carries risks. Among these risks are high blood pressure, heart diseases, blood clots, stroke and a high risk of developing certain types of cancer, especially breast cancer.

Regardless of which direction you choose to go – synthetic or bioidentical – or which type of treatment you select (pellets, pills, or topical), the best thing you can do is stay aware of any changes in your mental and physical condition so that you can aggressively advocate on your behalf with the medical community to alleviate symptoms and live the life you deserve.

How Comfortable are You with Your Self?

How comfortable are you just being yourself? Are you open and uninhibited, uncaring of what others might think about you?

Can you play the fool, be the clown, and make others laugh? Tell a joke or story with ease? Or do you suffer terrible agonies of anxiety and fear of public humiliation or shaming if you dare to express your opinion?

Are you self-accepting or do you tend to beat yourself up every time something is not quite perfect?

Wherever you fall on this continuum of being comfortable in your own skin, mastering the art of being yourself will bring more freedom, more happiness, and more enjoyment into your life.

Being yourself may come easily or it may not. It is, however, a skill that you can learn just like reading and writing, or playing an instrument. The more you practice it, the easier it gets. Being yourself allows you the freedom to be authentically and fully you, moving through life with grace, ease, and serenity.

Isn’t it time you learned how?

12 Steps to Master Being Your Real Self

Here are some thoughts and ideas from wise souls on how to get the ball rolling, and how to make living authentically a life-long practice that will leave you enriched and fulfilled with a life that fits you perfectly:

1 – Understand that Nothing is Personal

The wisdom of Don Miguel Ruiz in his book, “The Four Agreements” offers an excellent argument as to why nothing in this life is personal. Once you understand this, you can change your outlook for the better, forever.

Don Miguel says that everyone has their own unique view of the world, based on their own thoughts and beliefs. Whatever they say or do, it can never be about you: they can’t know what exactly goes on inside your mind. They are projecting the movie of their own beliefs onto you.

A person’s movie depends on the agreements they have made with life. If someone insults you, it is a result of his or her beliefs and opinions. It has nothing to do with you! And the same goes for whatever you project into the world: It has nothing to do with anyone else.

Once you know this, you can become immune from other people’s insults or put downs, because, it is about them, not about you! You can remain calm, and confident just being yourself and knowing that nothing that anyone ever says or does can be about you. Remember, from now on, don’t take anything personally!

2 – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Sometimes being yourself can provoke feelings of anxiety and insecurity. It usually stems around fears of what others might say or do if you dare to be yourself. Now you know that nothing is personal, you should find these insecurities diminish.

If somebody loves you, it’s not about you; if somebody hates you, it is not about you. However, if they do still come up for you, you can follow the advice of author Susan Jeffers in her book “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.” She advocates doing just that: Feeling the fear, and going right ahead and doing it anyway.

Fear and anxiety are really just feelings. Feelings are based on beliefs. Beliefs are just beliefs; they are not facts. You can decide to change your unhelpful beliefs for more helpful ones.

The feelings will pass if you simply accept them and allow them; they will pass much more quickly with loving acceptance than if you resist them and try to stuff them down. Keep being yourself, even when it’s scary. Over time, you will find the fearful feelings diminish and you start feeling a lot more confident.

3 – Be True to Yourself

• Listen to your heart, and follow its calling. This is how to be true to yourself.
• Mean what you say, and say what you mean.
• Be congruent in thought, word, and deed. That means, tell the truth, and do what feels right for you.
• Don’t compromise yourself unnecessarily. Learn to say “No,” with confidence and grace, when something doesn’t feel right for you. Giving in to other people’s demands and expectations, when these are not in alignment with your own truth, serves neither you nor other people. Your commitment to your own truth, your integrity, and your honesty will shine through your words and deeds when you remain true to you; other people will respect you for it.
• Stand your ground, and follow your dreams. Set goals, and then set out to accomplish them.
• Never give up. Believe in yourself. You can learn to be your own best friend.

4 – Listen to Your Intuition

If you’ve ever had a hunch, a knowing, or a sense of being guided, then you are tapped into your intuition. That still, small voice within knows what is best for you at any given moment. Following your inner wisdom can be a helpful way to feel confident about yourself and the choices you make each day.

Intuition can be used as a tool to guide you towards being more fully you. Your hunches and gut feelings are formed out of the summation of your previous experiences, thoughts, and feelings, so they are not completely lacking in empirical foundation.

One way to strengthen your intuition is to act on its wisdom when you hear it calling you. Ignoring it makes its voice get softer, and it gets harder and harder to hear.

Starting a dream journal is an intriguing way to tap into the wisdom inherent in your dreams, which can be a source of deeply intuitive wisdom upwelling from the subconscious mind.

Before you go to sleep at night, tell yourself that you want to remember your dreams; ask your dreams to provide guidance on a certain topic, question, or decision you may have to make. Have a pen and notebook by your bedside for when you awake.

Be ready to jot down any dream fragment, images, or insights you can remember as soon as you awake. Interpret them according to your own instincts. You will be using your intuition to get guidance. Have fun with it.

5 – Love Yourself

No one else can really do this for you. You will not be happier with a new relationship, in truth. The same issues that keep you hiding and afraid to be you will surface whether you are in a relationship or not. In fact, the Tibetan Buddhists refer to marriage as the charnel grounds, where the vultures pick over the flesh of rotting bodies!

A relationship is really a powerful tool for spiritual growth and one of the hardest places to go to do that inner work! If you are not in a relationship already, now is the time to learn to love yourself, unconditionally! Practice lavishing yourself with compassion.

When you really learn how to love yourself you will be more interested in making yourself happy and in doing what is right for you, instead of constantly putting everyone else’s needs before your own. You will also discover what brings you happiness.

When you put others’ needs before your own, you end up feeling resentful and you will dislike yourself because of it. Only you can make yourself happy and you do this by learning to love yourself.

When you truly know how to love yourself, your self-esteem and self-worth will no longer be dependent on the approval of other people. When you no longer depend on the approval of others, you are free to be yourself. Start by being kinder to yourself and accepting and loving yourself, warts, and all.

6 – Forgive Yourself and Others

You may be carrying around unconscious guilt and shame without knowing it. This will prevent you from being fully yourself. It will keep you shut down, afraid of being seen and afraid of expressing yourself.

When you can truly forgive yourself, those heavy, negative feelings can fall away and you can feel happier, more energized and much more authentically you. Practice kindness and compassion towards yourself and be gentle on yourself.

Forgiveness brings about healing. Forgive others too, so you can free yourself up to be the brightest, lightest version of yourself possible.

7 – Follow Your Bliss: Do What Brings You Joy

In order to be yourself, you have to know yourself. One way to find out who you really are is to pay attention to what brings you joy. Once you discover what makes you feel happy, do more of it.

Allow your happiness to guide your choices. If something is causing you to experience negative feelings, then you are quite probably not doing what is right for you.

The more your life is filled with positive feelings such as gratitude, happiness, contentment, serenity and calm, the more you can be sure you are being true to who you are. Life unfolds naturally when you follow your bliss.

Your happiness does not depend on what others think of you!

Being fully yourself means that you are immune to what other people think about you. You have accepted yourself, with all your flaws and all your marvelous talents, and you have learned to love and appreciate yourself, just the way you are.

Now you have all these pieces sorted out, you are free to be yourself absolutely, because it truly does not matter what others think about you. Their opinion is their business, and, it has nothing to do with you! Focus on you, and on your joy, and know that what others think of you is actually none of your business.

8 – Stand Up for What You Know is Right

Don’t let other people’s opinions persuade you to become someone you are not. Trying to fit in with the crowd is all very well, but when you have to compromise yourself, is it really worth it? Stand up for what you believe in and speak your truth.

People who are aligned with your values will be attracted to you, while people who take you away from being your best self will fall away. It is best to surround yourself with people who are of a similar mindset; they are more likely to support you in being fully yourself.

When you stand up for what you believe in, you will create a whole new group of friends who admire your courage and value what you have to say. It’s better than hiding out in a group where you don’t entirely fit, and, even though you’re surrounded by “friends,” you feel totally alone.

Just Be Yourself!

9 – Don’t Associate with People Who Make You Feel “Less Than”

Anyone who shames you for being yourself is somebody you want to avoid. If they put you down for being you, they are not good friends. If they criticize you because of who you are, know that it is time to move on. If they try to change you, it is time to drop them.

You don’t have to take it. You have every right to be yourself. If they don’t like that, it is their problem. Commit to finding new friends and companions who support, encourage, and build you up, praising you every time you show them who you really are.

Hang around with positive people. Find people who approve of you for you.

10 – Become the Best “You” that You Can Be

As you find out about who you are and really get to know yourself and your likes and dislikes, consider the things that you really value in life.

What qualities of character resonate with you? Who are your idols, your heroes, and heroines and what do you admire about them? How can you cultivate those same qualities in yourself?

For example, let’s say that your main man is the Dalai Lama. He is the embodiment of wisdom and compassion and kindness towards self and others.

How can you develop wisdom, compassion, and kindness? Through studying and meditation, you can develop these qualities in yourself. You can be whoever you want to be.

11 – Don’t Be a Doormat: Put Yourself First

Ultimately, being a doormat is not serving anybody in a healthy way. You are telling others you do not respect yourself by allowing them to take advantage of you and walk over you. You are enabling them in their bad behaviors.

Much of your programming as a woman has been about supporting others, helping others, and putting your own needs at the bottom of the pile. It has been seen as selfish to put yourself first, when in fact, just the opposite is true: When you don’t get your own needs met first, you are going to have a cup, which is half-empty.

When you meet your own needs first, then not only will your cup be full but it will be overflowing with so much love, joy, and happiness that you will have plenty to give away to those around you. Learn to say “no” to what you don’t want in your life. This will set healthy boundaries for yourself and will show others exactly where your boundaries lie.

When you know your own limits, by being clear on what you do and don’t want, and what you will or won’t accept, you will find it so much easier to be authentically you. Otherwise, you will be saying “Yes,” when what you really mean is “No.”

This is not only dishonest, to yourself and to others, but it sends out unclear and confusing messages about who you are.

Learn to stand up for yourself and you will watch yourself blossom into your own truth.

12 – Learn to Stay In the “Now”

Being in the present moment helps, you get in touch with the deeper part of your true nature, which the Buddhists call the “ground of all being.” It underlies all of existence and unites everything. Being in touch with it helps you be more fully you.

Worrying about the future, or regretting what happened in the past, are ways to avoid living your life fully, here and now. The mental energy required to think about the future or the past will drain you and leave you exhausted and stressed.

Try noticing what is occurring right here and right now. What do you see? What colors and objects? What do you hear? Birds, traffic, street commotion, a radio?

What do you touch, in this moment, with your body? Do you notice your body on the chair? Your fingertips tapping the keyboard? Your hand holding the phone?

Notice tastes and sensations when you are eating. What can you smell right now? Perfume, flower scents, coffee?

When you come into the experience of your senses in the moment, you are becoming more mindful. Your body begins to slow down, your thoughts stop racing and you begin to experience life in the present moment.

Adding to this the practice of allowing thoughts to arise, and then letting them go, without judgment, will help to keep you present and allow you to experience the pleasure of life, moment to moment. You will be a more authentic version of yourself.

Final Thoughts

Therefore, by following your joy and doing more of what brings you to a place of positive feelings, you can discover more about who you really are and start to let your true colors shine through.

Knowing that nothing is ever about you, you never have to take anything personally ever again. Build up your self-esteem and learn to love yourself unconditionally; you don’t need outside approval or permission to be yourself. Even if being true to yourself is hard, it is worthwhile to “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

Trust your instincts and follow your hunches: Let your intuition guide you and you will be living a life that is in alignment with who you really are. Stay present. This will help you be more in touch with all that is, and it will give you a much fuller experience of each moment that passes.

Your life will be richer for it and you will be more connected to a deeper, more authentic part of yourself: That which connects you to everything else. Forgiveness is a practice, which can lead to greater self-acceptance and an increase of self-worth.

Self-love is much easier when you forgive yourself and those around you. Learn how to put yourself first. This is not selfish behavior; rather it is a part of self-care, which ensures that you can be available to help others.

If you put yourself last, you will end up on the bottom of the pile. So don’t be a doormat. Learn how and when to say “No’, and know that saying it is good for you, and also the other person. You are expressing healthy boundaries.

Stand up for what you know is right. Others will respect you more for it and you will attract towards you true friends, those who are of like minds and spirits. Those who don’t support you in being yourself, those who put you down and who do not have your best interests at heart, will start to fall away.

Become the best “you” that you can be. By developing the characteristics and qualities in yourself, that you have admired in others you can strengthen your character and become a better, fuller version of yourself.

Meditation will not only help you develop positive personality traits, but it will also help you stay present to what is, right now. Being present, moment by moment, will help you develop a richer, more intimate relationship with the whole of life, and because everything is interconnected, that includes you.

By implementing these tools and developing these skills, you will feel much more at ease in your own skin and you will be more confident expressing the truth of who you really are, and much happier just to be yourself.