Everyone has heard the word stress, but what does it really mean? The truth is there are several different kinds of stress. Learning how to cope with each one can help you master stress management and lead a happier life.

Let’s start with a definition of each type of stress, so we can understand why there is such a thing as positive and negative stress.

What is Stress?

Stress can be defined as:

• Pressure or tension exerted on a material object.
• A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from difficult or very demanding circumstances.

We talk all the time about being stressed and stressing out, but not all stress is created equal. Some stress can be positive and helpful. Other stress can drag people down to the point where they might even become ill because of it. Learning how to manage stress in one’s life is a key skill to maintain good mental and physical health.

What Happens to Your Body When You Experience Stress?

Most people think of stress as a mental pressure, forcing them to think fast and deal with an issue. The truth is that stress is a complex physical response. It is often referred to as a “fight or flight” response, and it has been with us biologically since the dawn of mankind.

When a stressful situation occurs, it triggers a hormonal response to “pump up” the body and mind to deal with the issue. Our ancestors would have had to get ready to either fight the saber-toothed tiger, or run away.

The adrenal cortex releases a stress hormone called cortisol. Cortisol has a number of functions in the body, including releasing stored glucose from the liver for energy, and controlling swelling after injury.

The body’s sympathetic nervous system is activated due to the sudden release of hormones. The sympathetic nervous system stimulates the adrenal glands, just above the kidney, triggering the release of catecholamines, which include adrenaline and noradrenaline.

These two chemicals make you hyper-alert and aware, focused on the stressful situation to the exclusion of everything else. All your muscles prime for action. “Unnecessary” bodily functions such as digestion actually shut down.

While stress responses such as this can sometimes be useful, the truth is that in the modern world, most of us are not in the kind of life and death situations that our caveman ancestors were. Stress for us is things like speaking in public or having to deal with a difficult customer or boss.

The stress response gets triggered, however, regardless of the cause or how important it is. This can lead to hormonal imbalance, digestive disorders, weight gain and physical aches, pains and muscle tension. It can also lead to adrenal fatigue and insufficiency, because the adrenal glands are working too hard. Learning more about stress and stress management can help reduce the stress response.

Different Types of Stress

There are three main types of stress:

1. Acute
2. Episodic Acute
3. Chronic

They vary in terms of how they manifest, what causes them, their symptoms, how long they last, and how they can be treated.

Acute stress

Acute stress is the most common form of stress and is triggered by the demands and pressures in the present and near future. It can be positive or negative depending on the circumstances.

For example, you might be really happy that it’s your spouse’s birthday, but might be stressed over planning to host a party for them, and there is so much on your to-do list.

You might be happy to be asked to lead the next meeting in your department, but stressed about getting your presentation done in time.

A little stress can be a good thing, because it helps us accomplish positive things in our lives. Deadlines can be stressful, true, but they also motivate us to get things done. High standards at college, for example, can be stressful, but they also give us a target to aim for so we can get a good grade point average (GPA) and have better opportunities when it comes time to look for a job.

Too much stress, however, can lead to mental paralysis – that is, not knowing what to do next because the person feels so overwhelmed. It can trigger tension headaches, upset stomach, backache and other physical symptoms.

Fortunately, most of us can recognize short-term, acute stressors and find ways of dealing with them. Learning effective strategies for coping with stress and testing them to see which ones work for you personally can make each new stressor a challenge rather than a disaster.

As the phrase goes, stuff happens. Dwelling on it can make it more stressful. Learning to go with the flow will make you much less tense. You might even be able to look on the bright side of things. Yes, the person who plowed into the side of your car was a reckless driver, but you were not in it and no one was hurt, and the insurance company is giving you a brand new car.

Yes, you did lose a contract at work that you had been working hard on, but the people you were negotiating with were difficult and never seemed pleased about anything, so chances are the contract would have been more trouble than it was worth.

Strangely enough, some people don’t always spot their own stress response. They think what they are going through is “normal.” They might be able to spot stress in others rather than themselves. A few clear signs of acute stress include:

• Anger
• Irritability
• Worry/anxiety
• Depression/withdrawal
• Hyperawareness of the situation – it’s all you can think about

Physical signs include:

• Higher blood pressure
• Rapid heartbeat
• Irregular heartbeat
• Sweaty palms
• Sweaty underarms
• Shortness of breath
• Feeling dizzy or faint
• Headache
• Migraine
• Jaw pain
• Chest tightness
• Cold hands and feet

Those who master stress management when they encounter negative stressors in their lives can control their response better, and reduce and finally end the stress response that has been triggered. In this way, their body will stop pumping hormones, switch back on the digestion and so forth, and return the body and mind to a normal resting state.

Acute stress, both positive and negative, is a fact of life. But why do some people seem more stressed than others?

Episodic Acute Stress

You are bound to have encountered people in your life who seem to lurch from one disaster to the next. These episodes of stress are often negative rather than positive, and their lives seem like a case study for crisis management.

They are always “a day late and a dollar short,” no matter how hard they try to get on top of things. They are always rushing, always late, have too much on their plate, and try to juggle too many things at once – only to drop the ball.

In most cases, these stressors are not external. People who are affected are often “driven” or what is termed type-A personalities, who are generating a great deal of this stress internally. The reasons are usually psychological, such as a quest for perfection, deep emotional insecurity, and often a lack of emotional intelligence.

They don’t know how to deal with others well, or work as a team. They try to do everything themselves, increasing their own stress. They can be so controlling that they refuse to delegate.

Such people can become irritable, hostile, even aggressive, the more demands they place upon themselves. This then affects relationships and the atmosphere in the workplace and at home. They are abrupt, with little time for others. They are usually workaholics, though often they lack time management as well as stress management skills, adding even more stress to their days.

Some of these type-A personalities are also worriers. They might appear confident on the outside, but inside they constantly fear disaster. They look on the negative side all the time and often sabotage themselves as a result. “I knew something would go wrong,” is a common phrase they will say or think.

These type-As can show their stress through being anxious and depressed rather than hostile and aggressive, but this also makes them difficult to deal with. They can often start to develop obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) due to irrational fears and attempts to “control” what they see as the chaos of life. It can be almost impossible to get them to calm down, look on the bright side, and so on.

Type-A people can also be difficult to deal with because they don’t see anything wrong with their life. They have habits that are hard to break. They often define themselves by their episodic stress, such as the “successful businessperson” or “the person who has it all.” These are common media stereotypes it can be easy to be fooled by and delude yourself into thinking is a good thing.

The reality is that successful business people don’t work every waking hour, and do manage to have good interpersonal relationships. The person who has it all is the one who understands the importance of maintaining a good work-life balance.

We all know how hard it can be to break bad habits. It can be even tougher if the person does not see what they are doing as a bad habit.

Society has also begun to promote episodic stress in the last 20 years or so, by emphasizing that workers should be able to multitask. The truth is there is no such thing. Multitasking is simply the brain switching back and forth rapidly between two or more tasks. It adds to mental stress and actually means that a task which should take only five minutes takes ten or more.

People with episodic stress will not be able to deal with the stressor and then get back to normal so easily, leading to extended stress-related symptoms, such as:

• Persistent tension headaches/cluster headaches
• Migraines
• High blood pressure
• Chest pain
• Heart disease
• Back pain
• Jaw pain
• Teeth grinding
• Disturbed sleep and/or lack of sleep

Dealing with this type of stress usually involves a range of strategies, but the problem is to first admit there is stress in order to get back onto a healthier track.

Chronic Stress

Acute stress can be positive, exciting and motivating. Episodic stress can be a rollercoaster with some ups, but a lot of downs. Chronic stress is a downer most of the time, wearing out the body and mind and damaging the quality of life and meaningful relationships.

Chronic stress can be triggered by difficulty at work, money worries, a bad marriage, a long-term illness in oneself or a loved one, and so on.

The pressure is constantly on, with little relief in sight. For example, a person feels they are working as hard as they can, but their boss is never satisfied. They try to eat healthy foods, but every muscle in their body aches. There seems to be no hope in sight.

A lot of people might wonder why they stay stuck. Why not just get another job, or leave an unhappy marriage? Some chronic stress can be due to past traumatic events and deep-seated fears. If they leave the job, they might not find another one and will be broke. If they leave the marriage, they might never find another person who “cares” about them, or they don’t know how they will be able to support the children.

Chronic stress can be very isolating. The person is under pressure all the time. As a result, work-life balance can disappear and they lose touch with friends and family – the very support network they need in order to be able to cope with the stress and make healthier changes in their lives.

Chronic stress also makes people feel stuck because it is familiar, and therefore less frightening than the unknown. However, it is also extremely dangerous, leading to chronic health issues, and even depression and suicidality.

Chronic stress can be treated if the person is willing to make a change and they get good support. They need to distinguish between good stress in their lives, and negative stress. They also need to learn how to cope with negative stress in a positive way. Let’s look at these two topics next.

Tips for Getting the Right Amount of Good Stress in Your Life

There are many ways to get good stress in your life without overdoing it. You could decide to take a course online to add to your skills, or perhaps even get a degree.

You could target an area you feel you would like to improve, such as your public speaking skills, then follow through.

You might long to give better PowerPoint presentations at work, so you might take the time to learn more about the program and good design, and volunteer to present at the monthly board meeting.

You might be tired of being single, so decide to try online dating.

You might long to try a new hobby, so go along to a Meetup about it to learn more.

You might wish to spend more quality time with your partner, so you take the time to arrange a surprise weekend away. Sure, you might have to stress a little about the money and planning, but the results can be well worth it.

Tips for Dealing with Negative Stress

There are many ways to cope with negative stress that can actually turn it into a positive in your life. Here are a few suggestions.

Exercise

Exercise relieves stress and improves your health. Walking, aerobics, cycling, spinning, Zumba, even belly dancing, can all give you a good workout and be fun too – enhancing mood. If you take a class, you can also socialize with others.

Gardening

It relieves stress, beautifies your home, and can even help you save money on food if you grow vegetables and herbs. You could also join a community garden or get an allotment so you can spend time with like-minded people.

Yoga

Yoga is great for mind, body and spirit. You can attend classes and also continue your practice at home. It is very relaxing and can be done by people of any age and fitness level.

Meditation

Meditation can be done with yoga, or on its own. There are different types of meditation. It can help you look at your own thoughts without judging. It calms the mind, lowers blood pressure and improves mental focus.

Mindfulness meditation has you focus on the present moment as it unfolds. There is no dwelling on the past and no worrying about the future. You are just enjoying what you are doing now, sitting, standing, washing the dishes, and so on.

Stress Management Courses

There are many courses available online and in person that can help you discover a range of ways with dealing with stress.

Keeping a Stress Journal

This can help you spot patterns. You can also keep track of which stress management methods you have applied, and what worked best for you.

Stress is an inescapable part of modern life, but it does not have to be all bad. Positive stress can help you achieve things beyond your wildest dreams. But if you are stuck in a cycle of episodic stress, or struggling with chronic stress, it’s time to learn how to manage your stress, so you can live your best life.

We often hear the word resilience as a quality to be admired, but what does it really mean? Why is it important, and how can you cultivate it within yourself?

Resilience, or psychological resilience, can make all the difference between success and failure. It can help you lead a happy life in which you are able to look on the bright side no matter what happens, even when you experience serious issues.

Resilience is a state of mind. It refuses to be defeated. A resilient person is strong and self-confident enough to feel like they can cope with whatever life throws at them without falling apart.

Does this sound like you? Or do you wish you could be more resilient? In this guide, we will cover what resilience is, why it is important, and how to develop it in yourself and others – both at home and in the workplace.

So let’s get started with a working definition of what resilience is and why it is an important characteristic to possess.

What is Resilience?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, resilience can be defined as, “the ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune or change.” For example, “The rescue workers showed remarkable resilience in dealing with the difficult conditions.”

Some people seem to be able to cope with even the most difficult conditions without complaining, giving up, or getting depressed and upset. What most people would consider to be disasters, such as a hurricane and all the damage it causes, a resilient person will take in their stride. They will be upset, naturally, but they won’t let their emotions take over at the expense of logic and all the practical things that need to be done to deal with the situation.

Resilience is a strong ability to cope and adjust to new situations, even difficult ones, as they happen. A resilient person can get back to normal quite quickly after an illness, or adjust to a new normal, such as a new set of circumstances that arise as a result of a death in the family, divorce, and so on.

We all have to face difficult situations in life when they arise, but resilience means not allowing them to paralyze you, or running away from them. Rather, it is an active process of understanding that you have choices in every situation, and trying to make the smartest ones that will lead to a happy or contented life once more.

Now that we’ve covered what resilience is, let’s look at the kinds of situations in which resilience can be very useful.

What Types of Situations Require Resilience?

Resilience is a useful character trait that increases with age. When we are young, we learn over time that we can’t get everything we want. We also discover that bad things happen to good people, and with each challenge, we learn how to deal with the bad as well as the good in life.

For example, it’s nice to win when we play a game, but chances are we can’t win every time. Can we shrug off a loss as no big deal, or get upset about it and be a sore loser? Or want to quit entirely? Think about Michael Phelps. He is the greatest Olympian of all time, but we’re pretty sure even he has lost a few races on the way to getting there. However, he kept on going for not one, two or three, but FIVE Olympic games.

In fact, his first games when he was 16 could well have been his last, since his performance was less than impressive. But he has shown persistence and resilience in the face of tough times throughout his career that would have made others who were less resilient give up and retire.

We would all love to get 100% on every test at school, but it’s often when we make mistakes and get a less than perfect score that the real learning occurs.

As we grow up, we get exposed to more and more situations in which we have choices about what to do. Supportive parents will give advice and encouragement in order to increase our ability to think independently and develop resilience.

“Helicopter” parents who constantly hover over their children, and/or try to protect or shield them from anything bad in life, obviously care about their kids. However, they may be doing them a severe disservice by not allowing them to be exposed to situations that could develop and improve their resilience.

We can probably remember big events in our lives, such as a pet dying or losing a loved one, changing houses, or a parent becoming sick. We might also remember seeing someone being bullied and needing to decide what to do in that situation. Did we just walk away, pretending it wasn’t happening? Did we run to get a teacher or other adult? Or did we try to stop the bullying then and there because we had confidence in ourselves and knew it was the right thing to do?

Sometimes our good actions don’t always have the effect we had hoped for. Did you ever have a situation in which you tried to do the right thing, but it backfired? Did you consider you had failed? Or was it a teaching moment in which you learned how to deal with things better the next time something similar happened?

Being resilient does not mean being perfect. It doesn’t mean being free of difficulties or worries. It is only natural to feel sad and pained if something major happens in your life. What being resilient does mean is being able to find a road back to emotional stability and a happy life rather than allowing the event to cripple you to a point where you find it hard to move on.

Resilience is all about making active choices and following through to achieve your goals. For example, if you want to go to a great college, you need to follow through by getting good grades.

What happens if you don’t? You might not get into your first choice of college, but you keep trying. You don’t give up completely just because of one setback.

You might wish to get a promotion at work, but seem to be hitting a glass ceiling all the time. In this case, there are several things you can do.

• Quit in a huff
• Give up and look for another job elsewhere
• Assess your performance honestly to see where you might be lacking
• Take on a new project that could make a real difference to the company
• Get more training in particular areas where you feel you could be stronger
• Start your own business in order to use all of the skills and talents you feel are going to waste in your current position

…and so on.

As you can see, there are many different choices in this situation. In some cases, doing several at the same time can add up to big results. The one thing that a resilient person does not do is give up and do nothing, or act as though their entire life was over.

An honest self-assessment could lead you to an entirely new career path you might not have thought of. Getting more training can also open new doors. Starting your own business will always involve some sacrifice in the beginning, such as giving up TV and lazy weekends.

However, it could mean more money and a more comfortable financial set of circumstances, so that if you get a $1,000 car repair bill all of a sudden, you won’t need to worry about it because you have the cash in the bank.

There are many difficult situations in life that require resilience, such as:

• Sickness
• The death of a loved one
• Divorce
• The break-up of an important relationship
• The loss of a job/being laid off, or fired
• Money issues
• An accident
• A natural disaster
• A house fire

In many instances, it isn’t a case of IF, but WHEN a difficult life event will arise.

That being the case, the more you can do to prepare yourself mentally for these kinds of challenges, the more you can develop your resilience. Let’s look in the next section at how you can become more resilient.

How can You Become More Resilient?

There are a number of factors that can contribute to resilience. In this section, we will discuss several of the most important ones. If you already possess them, great. If you don’t, it’s time to work on them.

A Close Family and Community

Studies have shown that one of the primary factors in developing resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within the family, and outside of it as well. Solid role models you can rely on will help. So too will having a network of people you trust who will offer encouragement without trying to smother you.

This kind of support gives you the self-confidence to bounce back when times get tough. It can also take you out of yourself as you care for others in return, being the strong one when circumstances present themselves and need to be dealt with calmly and practically.

Goal-Oriented

Resilient people set goals for themselves, then take steps to achieve them. They follow through. They also tend to be good communicators who say what they mean and mean what they say.

They are practical, but also see the potential in situations and people. They don’t have tunnel vision, but rather, an image of what they wish their future to be like. That image drives them towards success and prevents setbacks from making them give up completely.

They accept that change is a part of living, and that even if one door closes, another will open. They aren’t afraid to make the most of opportunities that arise. Even if the make a wrong decision or “fail”, they learn from their mistakes and move on, usually stronger than before.

A resilient person knows the difference between things they can change and things they can’t, and applies their energy accordingly. They don’t stick their head in the sand, but face their problems head on. They don’t keep trying the same ineffective strategy over and over again hoping they will eventually get a different result.

Emotionally Aware and Stable

Resilient people also tend to be emotionally aware. They are able to manage strong feelings and impulses without being overwhelmed by them. They often possess high emotional intelligence as well, understanding the thoughts, feelings and difficulties others are going through.

They go out of their way to help people, confident in their own ability to give assistance to others in some way. They don’t just give a fish; they teach people how to fish so that they too can be resilient.

Resilient people have a positive outlook on life, not a negative one. They don’t see problems; they see challenges that can be overcome. They look forward to the future with confidence, secure in the knowledge that they have faced tough times before and will be able to do so again whenever they arise.

Studies show that those with a sense of humor also tend to be more resilient. They can find something amusing in even the toughest situations. The laughter removes stress and helps them soldier on.

Good Self-Care

Resilient people also practice good self-care. They don’t neglect themselves to the point where they are running on an empty fuel tank. They eat right, exercise, manage stress, and allow themselves some personal time and space.

They understand that if they don’t look after themselves first, they won’t be able to care for others. They want to be their best self and live their best life. They set themselves self-improvement tasks that they follow through with.

Able to Learn and Grow

Resilient people look for opportunities to learn and grow. They trust their instincts and visualize their actions as being a path to success. Many resilient people meditate, journal, keep a vision board, and tackle their to-do lists like pros.

They are good at time management and are dependable and responsible. This in turn means less stress and less difficulty because they are not causing themselves problems through, for example, procrastination and other bad habits.

In Control of One’s Life

Above all, a resilient person feels that they are in control of their life no matter what happens. They might not have a choice about what happens, but they do have a choice about how to react to it. They explore their choices in an effort to make smart decisions.

The modern world is full of stressful situations, both great and small. From being cut off on the highway on our way to work, to the loss of a job or death of a loved one, events happen to us every day that we need to cope with. Freaking out will rarely help. Neither will burying your head in the sand and hoping it will go away.

Resilience is all about making an active decision and sticking to it. If someone cuts you off, you have two choices: get angry and perhaps make the situation worse, or decide it’s not worth getting upset about and not dwelling on it.

Similarly, the loss of a job can be devastating to some people, or a golden opportunity – depending on one’s perspective. If you were working 18 hours a day at the job and were never appreciated, being laid off could be the best thing that ever happened to you. It can free you up for all new and even better opportunities. If you act like it’s a disaster and the end of the world, you will only be making a tough situation worse.

Similarly, we hate to see anyone we care about suffer, but you can either get upset, or get information about the situation and see what your options are. Your “Oh, no!” can become, “Yes, this is tough, but I am going to do my best to deal with this.”

Getting Support

In times of crisis, you can go it alone, or you can put together a support team and lean on them as needed. You might have a mentor, coach or role model who can help guide you through the situation. Or, you can learn all you can and come up with an action plan for dealing with whatever situation has arisen.

Whenever something challenging happens to us, we can feel as if we are the only person in the world that it has ever happened to. The truth is, it has probably happened to many other people as well. Examples include as divorce, the loss of a loved one, a fire destroying our home, and so on. Fortunately, there are trained professionals who have experience dealing with these issues.

There are also ordinary people who have faced the same issues and come out the other side having learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way. You might be able to connect with them in person via local support groups, or meet up with them online and share experiences.

For example, it can be really tough to be diagnosed with a serious illness, such as cancer. Going online to learn as much as you can about your condition and treatment options is often one of the best ways to get a good outcome. Reading successful treatment stories can give you a positive outlook, which can lead to a better outcome.

If one of your family members becomes ill, you might suddenly be thrust into the role of a caregiver, a gatekeeper who learns about all of the aspects of the condition, and a cheerleader as you try to put a brave face on things for the sake of your sick loved one. All of this can lead to stress and caregiver burnout if you don’t pace yourself and take steps to ensure you get the support you need.

Being resilient does not mean going it alone. It means knowing what you need, asking for it, and doing your best no matter what the situation, through the smart choices you make. Over time, even the toughest situations will become easier because you have developed resilience.

Final Thoughts

Many people think how fortunate some people are because they appear so resilient, and make it seem so easy to cope with even the worst times. They look as though they are always in charge, and have their act together no matter what life throws at them.

The truth is that resilience is a set of skills and a mental attitude you can develop if you are willing to put in the effort to work on your preparedness in the face of tough situations. Only by dealing with challenges can you rise to them, and become a more resilient person able to succeed in life no matter what the odds.

To your resilience!

Does this sound familiar to you? You wake up in the morning, have your coffee, read your list of things to do today, then either start dealing with your email and social media accounts, or go back to bed if it is the weekend. Is this procrastination, or a more serious problem?

It is okay to have a “lay day” once in a while, but if your to-do list is getting longer all the time, with nothing being crossed off as complete, it has become a negative pattern that needs to be addressed.

In this guide we will discuss what procrastination is, why it happens, and effective solutions for it. Let’s look first at what it is and why.

What is Procrastination & Why Does it Happen?

Dictionary.com defines procrastination as, “the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention.” It comes from the Latin pro-, forward, and cras, tomorrow. The old adage, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today,” is not one that procrastinators take seriously.

So why do people drag their heels on projects they need to complete, especially ones with a looming deadline?

People procrastinate for a variety of reasons, including:

• Fear of failing
• Fear of succeeding
• Fear of rejection
• Poor organizational skills
• Lack of focus and concentration
• Lack of self-esteem
• Lack of motivation

Let’s discuss each of these in turn and offer some specific tips about how to deal with them. If you recognize yourself as a procrastinator, these tips should help you solve your procrastination problem.

Fear of Failing

Procrastinators may sometimes fear falling short of the mark, so it’s better to do no work all. If you hand in a blank piece of paper as your project, rather than a project you have tried to write, there is nothing to find fault with. No one can make corrections on your spelling, grammar and so on. This habit can start in childhood when we are at school, especially if we have a teacher or parent that is hypercritical and never satisfied.

No one likes to have their work judged, but the judgment will be about the work itself, not about you as a person. You failed a test – that does not make you a failure.

If you think your procrastination is due to fear of failure, here are a few suggestions for dealing with this. Firstly, ask yourself which of these you are most afraid of:

1. The task itself.
2. The skills and abilities needed to complete the task.
3. The results of the task.
4. The outcome of the task.
5. Putting in all the work but still possibly failing.

The task might leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed. “Write about your family,” for example, can be fun and easy for some children, but emotionally disturbing for others. Or maybe you just don’t feel you know enough about a topic. If the task itself is holding you back, what skills and strategies could you develop to get the work done?

For example, you could do research online, ask a friend or relative with more experience to help, and so on. You are NOT powerless in this situation. Taking action, any action, is better than not turning in an important project for your college work or job.

The results might sound like a strange thing to be afraid of, but there might be some subconscious fears at work. “If I do this project, will it be good enough, or will I have to do even more work? Will I look like a fool? Will they fire me?”

Fearing the outcome of completing the projects can also sound like an odd thing to worry about, but as we will discuss in a moment, people can not only fear failure, but also success. You might be convinced that this project will confirm in your own mind and everyone else’s just what a loser you are.

Finally, putting in all the effort and still failing is negative self-talk based on your perception of yourself as a failure. In the same way that success breeds success, so too can failure become a vicious cycle it is hard to escape from. It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if you are going to fail anyway, why bother doing the work in the first place?

If any of these thoughts sound familiar, it’s time to ban the negative self-talk and instead focus on things you do well and action steps you can take to build on your skills. “I can’t spell,” can become, “I write well but have trouble with spelling. But that’s what a spellchecker is for.”

Fear of Success

In the same way that a person can fear failing, they might also fear succeeding. This might sound strange to anyone who longs to be successful and admired. However, with success can come great responsibility and the glare of the spotlight that not everyone is comfortable with.

Once again, ask yourself what you are most afraid of:

1. The task itself.
2. The skills and abilities needed to complete the task.
3. The results of the task.
4. The outcome of the task.
5. Putting in all the work but still possibly falling short of your (unreasonable) expectations.

Perhaps you find the task dull and boring. You might even dislike it, or feel it is not one of your strong suits but you are going to have a stab at it anyway and do your best. But then, nothing….

You start to procrastinate and the task that should have been a slam dunk begins to grow out of all proportion as the deadline nears.

Or, the task may be one that allows you to really shine in your office. You have the skills and abilities to make a great impression. You can picture praise on the one hand, but jealousy from your peers on the other. This might start to feel like what is termed “impostor syndrome.”

Impostor syndrome is a psychological issue in which the person always feels like they are not good enough, or only average, nothing special, despite the fact that they have considerable evidence of high achievements well above the average. Actors Natalie Portman (Black Swan) and Emma Watson (Hermione in the Harry Potter movies) both admit to having impostor syndrome.

Read more here – https://counseling.caltech.edu/general/InfoandResources/Impostor

Since they both launched impressive careers when they were younger, it might be hard for them to measure themselves against their peers. Therefore, they attribute their success to luck or chance, when it fact they have worked really hard to get where they are.

If you are afraid of success, you may sabotage yourself through procrastination. Success can trap you because if you succeed, you need to keep meeting the high expectation others have about you and your work. An average grade or end of year job review isn’t good enough.

Yet how high is it possible to climb? Even if you get 100% on a test, for example, you might still feel disappointment because in your opinion, you could have worked harder. Perfectionism can lead to procrastination.

Success means more pressure is being placed upon you, and therefore, you feel under pressure all the time. Your negative self-talk will make it worse. If you have impostor syndrome, you will be under even more stress because you are just waiting for it to all come crashing down around your head. You believe yourself to be a “fraud” and are just dreading the moment when you will be “exposed.”

However, procrastination means that the clock is ticking towards a deadline, which can only add to your stress and pressure. We all need to perform well in our jobs, and most of us take pride in our work. It is up to us if we want to feel stress for failing to meet expectations, or stress at rising to the challenge and delivering what is expected of us on time, every time.

Those who battle with fear of success and one another aspect of it, perfectionism, will procrastinate until it is almost too late. Then you will make an exhausting push to the finish line and feel bad about all the effort you have put in. There will be little sense of accomplishment and no satisfaction in any success you achieve.

If you are procrastinating due to perfectionism, remind yourself that the work does not have to be perfect; it just needs to get done, and that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Your worst with a small amount of effort might be another person’s best if they really work hard. You never know. But you will never know unless you start to look deeper at your reasons for procrastinating.

Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection can be another reason for clinging to procrastination. This may originate from low self-esteem, or a lingering uncertainty within your own mind about your job or role in the world. You overcompensate for any perceived deficiencies by trying to be perfect.

This is often generated from a past rejection which has resurfaced due to the task itself. For example, you might have had a mother or father always pushing you to achieve, or one who made you feel like nothing you ever did was good enough.

In this case, stop placing so much importance on what others think. Build your self-confidence by looking at your resume and seeing all that you have accomplished. Knowing your own worth is one of the best ways to deal with rejection.

If you get turned down at a job interview, for example, or passed over for a promotion, it is not necessarily a reflection on you. It could be due to internal politics within a company that will affect their selection of candidates to interview and to hire. Once you understand this, it will be easier to overcome a perceived rejection.

You may feel a slight twinge if your work is criticized, but it is your work – not YOU. Also assess where their comment is coming from. Is it constructive and valid? If yes, use it to do better next time. If not, remember who you are and what you have achieved and just brush it off.

In this section we have discussed fear of failure and fear of success as being two key factors in procrastination, and how to handle them. In the next part, let’s look at how to deal with a lack of organizational skills, focus and concentration.

Organization, Focus and Concentration

Organization is one of the best tools to defeat procrastination. If you don’t already have a to-do list, now is the time to start one. Also get a calendar, both a paper one and an electronic one. The paper one makes it easy to take with you anywhere and jot down notes about appointments, deadlines and so on. You can use the electronic one to set automatic reminders.

If your list is already a mile long, choose five tasks that will give you the most value for your time, and focus on them. You will feel really good once you are able to cross them off your list.

Similarly, if you have a large project, break it up into smaller chunks with a number of milestone deadlines to make sure you are on track. There are a number of free project management tools online that help you organize everything in one place, such as Asana.com. Attach the files and then click the check box to mark the assignment as done.

In terms of keeping your calendar, it is important not to overburden yourself with so many chores that you have no time for anything fun, or anything which nourishes your soul. If you don’t schedule exercise and relaxation time, you will find yourself procrastinating at the wrong times.

Also schedule time for email and social media if it is for marketing purposes. Otherwise, you will find yourself checking your accounts a dozen times a day and getting little of value accomplished. Check your emails first thing in the morning and at the end of the day. If necessary, also schedule a short session in the middle of the day.

Try not to eat and deal with email at the same time. Focus is important, both on eating healthily and on working efficiently. Contrary to popular belief, there is really no such thing as multitasking, only forcing your brain to switch gears rapidly back and forth from one thing to the next and getting neither done well.

Focus and concentration are the key to doing your chores efficiently. Let’s look at a few success strategies next.

Lack of Focus and Concentration

In the modern world, we seem to live in a perpetual state of distraction. Email, calls all the time on our cellphones, texting, social networks, and more, the range of information and “static” bombarding us is so great that the “noise” can make us unfit to do anything other than stare into space and let it all wash over us.

A new study out recently shows that children learn less well and are much more distracted when the TV is on. The test was conducted with the TV on low and showing an adult news program the young children in the study couldn’t possibly have found interesting or understood. Yet they were compelled to stare at it and did all the tasks they were given very badly, including eating a nice meal.

When you are at your desk, do not have the radio or TV playing on your computer, especially not talk shows, which can completely sidetrack your chain of thought. Put your phone on vibrate and turn off the ping on your computer for new emails coming in.

Experts have shown that the human attention span is really only about 20 minutes long before it has to be stimulated to get back to concentrating again. This being the case, if you are still having trouble with clearing your to-do list and getting all your projects done in a streamlined way, consider the Pomodoro Technique.

Pomodoro is the Italian word for tomato. It is basically a kitchen timer you set at the start of each work session so that you will make steady progress until the project is finished or you tackle a range of items on your to-do list.

The technique also has built-in breaks. Work for 25 minutes, take a break for five. When you have completed four pomodoros, you can reward yourself with a 15 to 30 minute break.

During each pomodoro, focus and concentrate on the one task you have decided to work on, and nothing else. Studies suggest this technique even works with those who have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), so if they can do it, you can too.

Now that we have discussed the importance of organization, focus, concentration and good time management, let’s look in the next section at two other reasons why you might be procrastinating.

Dealing with a Lack of Self-Esteem or Motivation

Lack of self-esteem prevents you from completing the easiest task. Why? Either because you do not feel you are worthy of the challenge, or because you feel you are not good enough to complete it. As we discussed earlier regarding fear of failure and fear of success, if you have a little voice in your head telling you that you are not good enough, you have self-esteem issues that need to be dealt with if you are ever going to stop procrastinating.

Ironically, not procrastinating and getting solid work done can be one of the best ways to boost your self-esteem and give you a real sense of accomplishment.

You can also take an inventory of your strengths. Make a list of all the things you are good at. Then make a list of three things you would like to improve.

If you get dejected, look again at your list of strengths. You must have put focus and effort into them, which you should be proud of. This also demonstrates that you can focus to improve almost every area of life you might feel is an issue. Identify it and tackle it.

“But,” you may say, “I’m just not a motivated person.” Let’s deal with the issue of motivation in more detail.

Lack of Motivation

Motivation can be a very vague word we use often but pay little attention to. What is your motive for doing any action? In some cases it is for fun, like watching TV or partying with our friends. We certainly do not need to “psych ourselves up” to do fun things.

In the case of work, there is usually little fun in it. However, there are a number of strategies you can use to make it more fun and interesting. The first is to alternate the tasks you enjoy with ones you don’t. If you love blogging but hate balancing your checkbook, sandwich your bookkeeping time between two fun blogging sessions.

A second way to have fun and gain motivation is to think about the end result of your task. If you do your job well, you will collect a paycheck and might even get a raise or promotion. Everything you do each day contributes to your better future.

Consider setting a reward for your work. Once you complete the project, you can spend time doing X. You can go away for the weekend, treat yourself to a session at the spa – whatever you wish. It is up to you.

Final Thoughts

Only you know what will motivate you enough to take the needed action. Chances are that once you stop procrastinating, you will not need to grit your teeth to get even the dullest of tasks done.

These days, a lot of people are under a great deal of stress to achieve and to keep their jobs in a difficult economy. If you procrastinate, you are actually putting MORE pressure on yourself.

Procrastination is paralysis. Focus and concentration are dynamic, helping you to move forward. There is no need to feel stuck. Take small baby steps by making your to do list right now. Gather all the tools that will help you get organized.

Prioritize the tasks in terms of upcoming deadlines, then begin to work on each one until you complete it. The great feeling of positive accomplishment you will get should be more than enough motivation to stop procrastinating.

Resources

Forbes: Why We Procrastinate

American Psychological Association – Procrastination

wikiHow to do anything… – How to Stop Procrastinating