Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole? Have you ever tried to shoehorn yourself into a personality or situation that didn’t feel right to you?
That’s how most introverts feel and if you’re one of those people you’ll know how much you’d prefer to stay at home with a good movie or book and hang out in your sweats. Why would anyone want to go to loud parties or go to a club?
The most dangerous thing introverts can do, though, is hide themselves away from other people. Even though you prefer spending time on your own and despise being caught up in anxiety-inducing social situations you still need to build social connections.
Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean you have to do it by hanging out in bars.
How to Meet People
There’s a good chance that your ways as an introvert has lost you friends and you’ve drifted apart from the people who you used to hang out with. It can be lonely and loneliness is damaging to your mental health. It’s difficult to picture your life with friends and a social network when you are a homebody.
You can and you don’t need Dutch courage to do it, nor do you need a dating app (unless you enjoy those).
Forget the Bar Scene
It’s really not a place for introverts – with the loud music, the need to scream to be heard, and of course, the sticky floors aren’t anyone’s friend. Instead, consciously choose places that you already tend to visit in your everyday life, whether it’s hiking, the community center to volunteer, or coffee shops.
It’s much easier to strike up conversations in places you already feel comfortable in, and you’re both in the same place so you at least have one thing in common to work from.
Solitary Activities in Public Places
Instead of reading that new book on the couch head out to the park of the coffee shop to do it. You’ll start to feel more comfortable in these surroundings and you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to people around you, even if it just the barista.
If you enjoy exercise you might want to consider joining a gym for the social interactions or take your run on the road. There are probably popular routes or trails nearby that you could head to.
Change Your Expectations
Whether you want to put yourself out there because you’re looking for a romantic relationship or just looking to make new friends, you need realistic expectations. That drive to make friends or make love can make it appear as though you’re trying too hard. So, stop trying and allow conversations to flow naturally.
It’s much more stressful to push yourself to speak to everyone you come across and it’s not going to be enjoyable either.
Community Engagement
If there is something you feel particularly passionate about you could join a local club or community action. Whether that means you want to volunteer at the homeless shelter or join protests – it’s a great way to find people who are likeminded.
It’s much easier to make friends when you have something in common. Your nerves tend to fade away when you’re engaging with people who share your perspective.
Introverts aren’t weird or abnormal, they’re just a bit shy – and, that means they tend to be good listeners and that is one of the major factors of friendship. You might tend to focus on your perceived weaknesses, but many of your strengths lie in your introversion.
So, start thinking of yourself as an extraordinary individual rather than awkward or anti-social.
